i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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