She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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