life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
