I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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