WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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