The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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