Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
