It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
