I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize