oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
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i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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