i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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