So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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