drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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