i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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