Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
