how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
