so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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