I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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