I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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