that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
