She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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