It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
