I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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