I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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