you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
