Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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