the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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