help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
