I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize