You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
