apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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