Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
