I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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