I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
