kristin has been a bad kristin
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
