Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it glows. i had to have it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
