I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
