I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm always down for nudity.
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