Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
