I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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