so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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