I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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