my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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