Kiss
Puke
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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