Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
