Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
