So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We don't watch enough power rangers
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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