I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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