I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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