ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
