Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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