I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
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Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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