Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My breasts were aching with rage.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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