Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
