I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This baby is an asshole
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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