worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
