it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
