wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
