What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize